The season starts when? this weekend...to hell with that

Ok...so the first races of the weekend are happening.  I, along with my other teammates have the following excuses as why we are not racing:

I drank to much beer last night at Flapjacks house.

It's too far to drive.  7 hours of driving for 45 minutes of suffering is just not cost effective, takes away from my beer fund.

MBG has me doing huge interval sessions.

I'm out of shape.

I drank to much beer last night at The Monk this week.  Did you see they had Maredsous Brune on tap now?

I dont fit into that new skinsuit we ordered.  Everyone laughs and calls me Georg Hackl, I dont get it?!?

I have not glued up my carbon wheels with tires.  I dont want to roll a tire while off the back.

I drank to much beer last night at after practice while shoveling in Santiago's mexican food while sitting on the tailgate of Brian's truck.

Damn...why does the season have to start so early in CO?  Anybody else got races this weekend that they are skipping?  Please give your best excuse in the comments section for a special award.  The team will pick and let you know by next weekends races, that I will also be skipping for more beer and BBQ's.