The Anti-group group ride

Hey! I have a great idea! Lets get together on Sunday for a group ride. You know, just pedaling around, talking and having fun.

Sounds good, huh? SOUNDS good, but these things never happen. There is no such thing as a group ride where guys are concerned. There are always those that, regardless of the stated tempo of the ride, want to participate at a different level of intensity.

Sure you all start out together. Apparently the act of leaving at the same time from the same place constitutes group ride for some people. But inevitably, someone or several someone's will want to take off and make the ride harder than its original intent. You know the type of person I'm talking about.

You've ridden with them. They have an inherent need to display their self-applied, awe inspiring fitness to everyone around them. To be caught riding slowly and talking would be a fundamental blow to their psyche. So they take off, riding a little harder than the group. Once off the front, they speed up even more so that no casual observer will think they are with the embarrassing pack of inferiors behind them.

A little longer and the group begins to split up even more. As the original pack splinters like a carbon frame in a cat-4 crit, the entire idea of the group ride is shattered as well. What went wrong? How can we stop this from happening and get back to the casual ride with friends that doesn't turn into a swordfest? I mean, the group ride is about camaraderie, not cock-size.

Well, the short answer is: you can't stop this from happening. Guys on bikes are largely an insecure lot. Not all of us, but certainly a majority. For these folks, loud talk and brash words are used to mask their lack of self-confidence. Riding harder and faster than the others gives them a sense of worth. So, for those that hit the front of the group ride like they're lining up for the Arenberg Forest, I say: give them a dollar so they know they are worth something. And don't invite them back. Ever. And give them a good ol' Amish style shunning, too.

You'll be better off for it. They will eventually hook up with more of their own type and you can continue riding for fun.