My Proposal to Primus Mootry

Dear Mr. Mootry,

I am a cyclocross racer here in the Colorado area.  I have been racing for one entire season if you don't count the two events where I quit early because of mechanical failures and the time I quit because it was 17 degrees and the course was a 10  mile loop.  Disregard those three events and you can tell I am not at all indifferent to CX.  

I'm writing you today because I think your company could benefit greatly by having me ride you frames during CX season.  Here's a brief list of my palmares and accomplishments during the last season:

• 42nd out of 45 starters in my first race (Colorado Springs).  I was on a mountain bike.
• 55th out of 71 starters at Green Mountain.  I upgraded from the mountain bike to a Redline CX bike.
• Then I got the swine flu and missed a month of riding.  After which, in my comeback race, I finished 56th out of 65 starters (RRV).
• Alpha Cross is where I finally got going again and was able to breathe a little better.  Finished 51st our of 69 starters there. 
• The Colorado Veldrijan Crusade event saw me not only play the snare drum on TV for 9-news, but also ride to a commanding 46th out of 67 starters.
• Finally, at Green Mountain, I rode an exceedingly muddy course to finish 63rd out of 87 starters.

Now, you are probably saying "He doesn't have mad skilz."  That may be true but they are somewhat bitter and angry.  That counts for a lot.  Also,  you can see how my riding improved over the season.  In every race, I finished with or ahead of Rich Visscher.  Now what do you think?

My feeling is with a frame built by the now-famous Mr. Primus Mootry, I will easily finish in the top 75% every race next season.  And, since I am somewhat well recognized (I usually wear a bright orange coat), and always carry extra beer and snacks, people want to talk CX with me.  Naturally, they will want to know what bike I ride.  Then, I can proudly point to my new Primus Mootry frame.  TADA!  Free advertising for you!

Additionally, I will need 4 additional bikes.  One spare CX frame for a pit bike, a single-speed, a mountain bike, and road bike.  I know you made 9 bikes for Katie but as I'm not quite as skilled as she, I don't require as many bikes at this time.

I look forward to hearing from you, Primus.