Well now, here I am writing from a different waypoint in my epic ride of life. Things have taken a turn for the different since I last wrote anything and I can guarantee that all three of my loyal readers can expect some great (i.e adequate) blogginess in the coming moments.
I'm going to have plenty of time to ride these days. Getting canned from a job is a disappointing thing but figuring out that sponging off the government will pay all the bills is a satisfying thing. Some of you are now saying "Oh, poor Cap'n Slow" and you would be correct: I am now financially poor. But what I lose in income, I gain in miles on the bike. And really, I should have been eating less all along so losing some cash flow for 5 course meals at Wendy's (you really haven't lived until you've done that) is a good thing. I'll be on the bike a lot in the coming weeks. And hopefully I will have some experiences that make the blog entertaining or at least more tolerable.
Last night at dinner with friends and Idea was posed. I like the idea, too. The idea was to come up with a survey, attach points to your answers, total the points and see which category you fall into. I thought for a while about such a survey and came up with nothing. Sadly I went to bed anticipating the disappointment of my friends when they woke up this morning, got their coffee, read this masterful blog only to not be categorized.
But a new day dawned and when I woke up I had morning wood. I also had an idea about what kind of survey I could create. So now I give to you the first ever "Cap'n Slow's Judgemental Survey of Categorization". So get a calculator and get ready to total up your score.
Q1: Before riding you...
1) Shave your legs and eat a plate of spaghetti (+1)
2) Warm up for 5 minutes (+2)
3) Feed the chickens and milk the cows (+5)
Q2: When riding you find your saddle to be...
1) incredibly hard but lightweight (+1)
2) comfortable (+2)
3) attached to a horse (+5)
Q3: After riding you like to...
1) Have a beer at the local pub (+2)
2) Have a power dinner with power drinks and while reading your power meter (+1)
3) Have a whiskey at the local saloon (+5)
Q4: When you are getting ready for a big event you...
1) Ride fewer miles but with greater intensity (+1)
2) Ride fewer miles with less intensity (+2)
3) Invest in a new 10 gallon hat (+5)
Q5: After the season is over you...
1) take a few weeks off and then start training again (+1)
2) take a few months off and then complain about the weather keeping you from training (+2)
3) go to Mexico to herd some cattle (+5)
Q6: When you begin training after the offseason, you feel...
1) exhilarated (+1)
2) slow, out of breath, tired, and humiliated (+2)
3) the need to buy a new lariat and chaps from the local tack shop (+5)
If you scored 6 points, you are quite simply a poser. Nobody who reads this blog does all that stuff. Get over yourself. Moving out of Boulder would be a good first step.
If you scored between 7 and 11 points, you're still a poser. You probably like salads instead of hot dogs, Clif bars instead of brownies. I don't like you.
12 points? You have Frites en Mayo potential. Put on a few more pounds.
More than 12 points? Really, of you're not going to take these surveys seriously, then stop reading this blog. We are very serious here.
Wait, you have friends?
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