Dear Santa, I have a really long list of wants this year

What up old man? I haven't talked to you since last year and thought we should get re-aquinted. It has been a long year on the cross circuit here in Colorado. Lot's of broken parts, flat tires and demoralizing races for me. The season started out well but then the wheels literally fell off and never recovered. If you can please overlook all the f bombs, sums a bitches, bike tosses and utter bullshit reasons that I used this year from your year end list of naughty and nice, it would really help.

My teammates seem to be better, at times, than me this year and that is not sitting well. So I have a few requests for ya. Hope you can work these in to your bag of loot since there are more deserved crossers out there than us. So, here goes...

To Kevin - He proudly sports his USAC mechaincs license to us each and every week, but each week he has a mechanical. He needs the Zinn book of maintenance, both the road and mtb versions. Maybe also the SRAM technical guide for installing parts.

To Ron - Please bring him some Enzite. He needs to keep a smile on his face during the entrie cross season. He tends to fade away about early November (maybe he should see a doctor about this) and then when Brian throws the beat down on us, the gaps look more impressive than they really are. Keep up the hard work, but Ron is the elder statesman of the team.

To Matt - He really needs to have an attitude adjustment. Dude won a race, a bunch of top 10's and all he could say was he had fun. I want to hear something more along the lines of "I kicked the shit of them today and nobody could hold my wheel" or "You aint got to be from Boulder to win cross races in this state" He needs some bravado...like us when we are out having cocktails telling elf stories.

To Will - Please keep Will from getting sick and travelling all the time. He needs to be out on that Ridley more often showing off how fast he is. Dude doesn't train at all and still get top 10's in the Killer 4's races.

To Scott - Please sign him up for some swim lessons. Dude sinks to the bottom faster than the Titanic did. The only races we did with a little bit of water and he went ass over tea kettle in both. He did come prepared the second time with the snorkel, but help a brotha out would ya??

To Brian - He explained to Dash and I his training secrets on the way home from Frisco. He got the nickname Carl Rouge that day. Dude, if you are going to train like a mofo during the year, at least keep your teammates in the loop. Nothing worse than getting shit canned by a clydesdale each every week. Excellent season of racing for you. But just you wait until we get to Belgium in the spring, the smackdown starts.

To Luke - Luke needs better bike handling skills when carrying a turkey in a basket tied to his bike. I know, I know, it is a very specialized type of racing, but getting ejected from the bike on pavement hurts. So, how about some DH gear to keep him safe...

To Benji - Dont know what to get a man that has everything except maybe some more time to come out to the races. We missed you this year at the parties and races...come back soon.

To Tom - Make him take a month off from bike related activities. Guy is always looking to promote a race, help with setup, teardown, drop off parts, pick up prizes. Tom, you are a saint among the racing community with all that you do. Please take some time off and spend it with your family, it has been great having you on the team this year.

Now for other's in the cross world that have been naughty and nice


To Sven - Hope another rainbow jersey get's dropped off to you in Tabor in Feb. You killed them at Kalmthout over the weekend in the snow. You know that there is going to be snow in Czech republic also

To Neils - Dude, keep riding cross. So some drunks got after you, whooppee shit. Hell, come to our races in Colorado and the Frites team will get after you also for bad lines, bad hair and your helmet being on sideways

To KFC - Get the damn jersey already, wouldcha???

To ACA - You guys work for the riders. Stop worrying about if someone wants to add a newbie category to the race schedule. Dont you want to bring in new racers, which in turn brings in new money to teams, the ACA and promote racing for everyone...not just the stoggy old dudes that are here week in and week out for the past 25 years. Open your eyes to this.

To Dennis Farrel - Dude needs some patience to along with his ability. Great racer but bad ambassodor for cross with his actions towards the end of the year.

To Adam R - Please bring Adam a bigger trailer to keep the bigger grill in. We need more pancakes, sausage and bacon at cross races. Let's make next year's races more family oriented like AlphaCross.

To Shotty - Keep up the blog updates. We love to read our names in print. Plus, you also need to start sharing training secrets. Well, all except the ones about going downhill, off camber in the mud....your 15 minutes of fame are still alive and well here.

Well Jolly Saint Nick, Santa, Kriss Kringle, Papa Noel, Kerstman, Father Christmas or whatever name they told you to use in the witness protection program, that is all. Please have a save trip and take some time off for you and the misses.