What you really need to bring to a cross race

Ok, we have all read the trash over at Velonews about what to bring to a cross race. 

So as the Frites team loaded up the cars for the push over to Buena Vista for Sundays race, we came up with the essentials that are needed for a real cross racer.  These are in no particular order, we are not paid shills like are journalist brothern at VN and these come with real life experience on how to pack. 

Caution - some of this might not be appropriate for the Cat4 one day licensed racer.

1.  Toilet Paper.  There is nothing worse than having that morning latte run through you while warming up on the course.  You hop off the course and scurry quicking to the LBB (little blue box) and then wait in line.  Once you sit down, there is nothing there except bad smells and the empty roll.  Shit!, literally, I got to go.  If you come with your own roll from the car, this is not an issue.  Plus, who wants to wipe your soft, chamois cream ass with a single ply roll of plywood paper?

2.  Beer.  Who does not want to have a nice frosty one after coughing up a lung for the last 45 minutes right?  Light American Lager is not beer, it is water with some sugar and rice added then the "brewmaster" pissed in it for that yellow color.  Bring something that you and all around you will enjoy.  This is not a crit, you want to make friends  right?  Belgium beers fit the bill.  They can be had at almost any liquor store.  Spend the extra 3 bucks per six pack and be a man...you are racing in the BDDL (beer drinking dad's league) 35/4's right?

3.  Dogs.  What is a cyclocross race without your loyal hound there with you?  It's called a crit.  Your dog loves the outdoors as much as you do.  Why not bring them along for the ride.  They can go ELB (ears layed back) on the drive down, tie them up to the bumper of your car, they guard the beer during the race, let them run around after you are done and they sleep the whole way home.


4.  Spare wheels.  We race in CO.  Goatheads abound on just about every course we use.  Be smart, you paid your 25 bucks (or 40 bucks to race in the bubble of 80301) so why not try to finish the race if you do get a flat and spew white latex all over yourself?  Wheels can be had cheap off of CL, ebay, stolen from your buddies garage or your wife's bike.  Get a spare set of tires and you are good to go.  No reason not to come to fight without the right back up equipment right?

5. Trading Cards.  You know what we are talking about.  You probably collected them when you were young.  They have the players status on the back, where they grew up, position they play.  But we are talking about 21st century trading cards.  They are free for the taking.  While the Frites team was in Vegas for Interbike, we collected these for the rest of our teammates.  It has a picture of Amber on the front and on the back of the card, her status (38DD), where she lives (crack house down by Fitzgearlds) and what position she likes (you can come up with your own) to play for your hard earned cash.  Best part of these, they make great talking points when they are in the spokes of your rear wheel.  Everybody is gawking at them.  Let us know if you need any, we have lot's to give away.

6. The proper go fast food.  Waffles.  Yea, over here on this side of the pond, you bust them out for breakfast with a little bacon, butter and syrup.  Over in Belgium, they are the afternoon snack.  Doesn't matter when you eat them, just eat them.  Lately, Ritual Chocolate located within the bubble has found its way to some of the early season cross races and boy are they good.  Made with homemade dough, not mix, these bad boys along with the above beers will keep you hazing/chastising/heckling your fellow races for hours on end.  Plus they are coming up with thier own chocolate bar.  Support local businesses right?

So there you have it.  This is what cyclocross is all about.  Not bringing along a damn french press, some specific glove, a clean bike home on top of the car or any other shit they came up with. 

Go to the cross race with your freinds, bring the above stuff that FMVC recommends and have a good time.  We are all competitive but at the end of the day, we like to revel in what happened to us, not pack the Grizzwald family truckster for the long drive home right?